I don't go to Broadway
plays very often. Orchestra tickets are so expensive. And who wants
to sit in the balcony? I don't see the point of going to a play if I
can't see the faces of the actors. But I did want to see BETRAYAL at
the Helen Hayes Theatre because Kelly Cavanna was in it, and I used
to know her before she got famous. I had this fantasy that after the
show I would visit her dressing room backstage. It would be like in
that movie ALL ABOUT EVE with Bette Davis, and I'd watch her take off
her make-up while a maid hung up her costumes and everyone made wisecracks.
But this was not likely to happen. Because the truth is, we didn't part
on the best of terms. And I was still angry over the way she'd treated
me. So part of me wanted her to get bad reviews and embarrass herself
in front of everyone. I hate that, when I want someone to fail. As if
that would make my own life better in any discernible way. Not that
my ill wishes came true or anything. She got great reviews and I heard
ticket sales were going strong. I tried to feel happy for her, I really
did, but it was annoying to see her be so exalted when I knew what she
was really like. And then to have to feel jealous on top of that.
Not that I'm an actress too, god forbid. I'm a playwright. And I wrote
the play she was performing in when she was discovered by a producer
who put her in a Broadway play where she was noticed by a casting director
who got her a part in a sitcom which led to her first movie which led
to her second movie which led to her being nominated for an Academy
Award.
The theater world loses a lot of good people that way. When New York
actors get some success they almost inevitably go off to Hollywood.
Some people even say that theater is dead. Well, maybe the New York
theater world isn't exactly vibrant anymore. But I don't think "theater"
will ever die. Because it's so much a part of how we live. Every day
is a performance, every conversation is an improv, every fight is a
climax, and every sigh of relief is an ending of sorts.
Anyway. Maybe she would've been successful whether she was in my play
or not. Who knows. And it wasn't like she was a totally rotten person.
I do admire certain things about her. Kelly is a woman who is not afraid
of being out there. Both with her feelings and her sexuality. Unlike
me. And she inspired me to stop hiding so much. And I guess that's really
at the heart of why I want to tell this story.
