Q&A WITH STEPHANIE LEHMANN
Recently, Michelle Cunnah, author of 32AA, CALL WAITING, and CONFESSIONS OF A SERIAL DATER, interviewed me for her website www.LiteraryChicks.com, where I was a guest blogger for a month. We talked about THE ART OF UNDRESSING, and she attempted to find out how much of it was based on my real life.[Michelle] Have you ever taken stripping lessons or stripped for your husband?
[Stephanie] Like my heroine, I'm modest. I was born with exposure anxiety. My mom tells me I came out wearing a onesie. Problem is, I'm also an exhibitionist. Which is part of why I became a writer, I guess. I did take a stripping class once, hoping to loosen up a bit for my husband. But when I performed for him, my inhibitions messed everything up. I started out naked and gradually got dressed. Then he had to look at me stand there in my clothes while we didn't have sex.
[Michelle] Did you have to visit any exotic dancer clubs as part of your research?
[Stephanie] Yes, I did have to. Writers must sometimes sacrifice themselves for their art. Actually, the decision to write this novel was part of an extremely elaborate plan to have a good excuse to go to strip clubs. I wanted to know what went on in these places. I went to a few different ones, and I have to say, it's a definite eye opener. I might mention that in the course of my novel, the exotic dancer character of Coco gives a few lessons on how to strip, so readers can learn some techniques as an added bonus.
[Michelle] Did you take your husband with you?
[Stephanie] Are you kidding? I wouldn't want my daughter to see him gaping at those women!
Seriously. Some women like to go with their husbands or boyfriends, but I couldn't stand that. I'd just be sitting there fuming, thinking how dare he allow that woman to give him a lap dance?! What a sexist pig! But of course, I had perfectly good reason to be there as part of my research, so I could gape all I wanted. I went with groups of friends. And no, I didn't get a lap dance. I'm too shy.
[Michelle] Do you know any exotic dancers?
[Stephanie] We all know exotic dancers. We just don't know that we know them... Actually, my husband's dancing is pretty exotic in the sense that no one else dances quite like he does.
[Michelle] Part of your novel takes place in a culinary school. Are you good at cooking?
[Stephanie] I have this uncanny ability to time out how long to microwave my Lean Cuisines so they're done perfectly on the first shot.
The truth is, I avoid cooking for my family as much as possible. It's so futile! As soon as you buy groceries, they're all eaten up, and then you have to go buy them again. Much better to order in. No pots and pans to clean up.[Michelle] Like your main character, do you get excited about stainless steel the way most women get excited about diamonds?
[Stephanie] I get excited about my stainless steel dishwasher.
[Michelle] Have you ever sold sex toys?
[Stephanie] Only when I auctioned off my old vibrator on Ebay. Just kidding! I did organize my own sex toy party -- as further research for the book, of course. It's enlightening to see your friends discussing whether they prefer the high-powered electric vibrators or the more gentle models with less stimulation. Suddenly it's all fodder for casual discussion. It's a great bonding experience and really helps to "normalize" the idea of enjoying your sexuality.
2004 STEPHANIE LEHMANN INTERVIEW
You’ve been a playwright for many years. Why did you choose to write novels?
I actually started out writing novels. I wrote my first one when I was applying to the NYU Graduate Writing Program. Then I wrote another one after graduating. I found agents to represent both, but they were never published. At the time, I thought that was horribly unfair of the world. But when I looked at them recently, I cringed.My husband, who I met at NYU, was a playwright. In high school, I used to work on crew doing lighting. I always loved that. I’d never thought of myself as a playwright. Been when I saw all the fun he was having in rehearsals, hanging out with actors, I wanted to do that too! Novel writing can be very lonely. So I started writing plays – and I have seen about 10 of them get produced. That’s been fun. But when I got the idea to write THOUGHTS WHILE HAVING SEX, which is centered around the production of a play, I couldn’t resist trying a novel again. I didn’t tell any friends or family (except my mom) that I was working on it. I was embarrassed that I’d “gone back to novel writing” after having failed at it years earlier. The day I got my agent, I told my husband about it. Later I thought I should’ve waited until it was published to tell him. I could’ve taken him into the bookstore and gone, “Oh, look. It’s a book written by me!” That would’ve been fun.
What's the difference between Broadway, Off Broadway and Off Off Broadway?
Technically, it's the number of seats in the theatre. Off Off Broadway shows are done in small, moldy theatres with 99 seats or less and people work for little or no money. They're usually done with a much smaller budget and therefore lower production values. Also, the Off Off Broadway show usually has a short limited run (no more than 16 performances if there are any Equity actors involved).Off Broadway is a more commercial venue, usually in theatres over 99 seats and no more that 499 seats. And the seats don't have torn upholstery. They usually have a large budget and open ended run and union actors who are on an Equity Off Broadway contract. Also the ticket price is much higher. An Off Off Broadway show is about $10.00 to $20.00, while an Off Broadway show is $45.00 to $ 60.00. For Broadway, the ticket prices are even higher, the houses are even larger, and the production values are much greater. Ticket prices are around $100.00.
What's the best way to get involved in the theater if you're just arriving in New York City?Go to Yale. If that's not possible, get an apartment in Brooklyn and a lousy job with flexible hours. If you're a writer, join a writing group and The Dramatist Guild and send your plays out everywhere. If you're an actor, buy a subscription to Backstage, take classes and audition for anything that you can. For writers and actors, other people are the best resource for work.
Do you think Broadway ticket prices are worth it, and what do you think of the quality of new plays being done on Broadway today?
People get much more for their money by spending ten bucks on a movie ticket. That's why people don't go to the theater anymore.I don't think the quality on Broadway is great for the most part -- especially for new plays. It's become so commercial. It seems like all producers care about is making money and if that means getting a TV star who's never been on a stage (and never should be) they will and do. It is so expensive to put on a Broadway show now that they think they "can't afford" to take any chances or try anything new. I think that's why almost everything out there is a revival. There is still some great stuff on Broadway but I think it's in the minority. I think Off Broadway has become what Broadway used to be and Off Off what Off was.
There are far fewer female playwrights than there are female novelists. Can you explain this?It’s a lot easier for a woman to get a novel published than to get a play produced. Very few women playwrights get done Off Broadway and as far as Broadway goes, forget it. At the Off Off Broadway level you’re going to find the percentage of women playwrights a little higher, since it’s the lower echelon. But it’s still hard. And, I might add, no Off Off Broadway playwright gets paid. More often than not, an Off Off Broadway playwright (male or female) is actually contributing money to that production. That’s because all those productions are money-losing propositions. They have to be, when you factor in cost of the theater, paying the crew, and then the limit the unions put on ticket pricing. You’re lucky if you break even. And then you compare that situation and go into the bookstore and there are piles of books by women! Who got paid to write! I feel lucky that I was looking to publish my novel right as this whole “chicklit” phenomenon started taking off. Publishers now recognize that women like reading books that are by women about women.
How did the idea of chicklit originate?Chicklit is generally thought to have sprung from Sex and the City – originally a newspaper column -- and Bridget Jones’s Diary. What both the novel and the show portrayed so well was intelligent young women in the city who are ambitious but can’t find Mr. Right. Why? My take on it is because they’re too complicated.
What do you mean by “too complicated?”The central conflict for the women in chicklit novels – and in real life – is that many men want women who present themselves as available to satisfy their sexual demands without being too much of a challenge. But young women are getting more and more independent; careers are expected, ambition is expected. Many women now find that while they want to take charge of their lives and careers, they still feel pressure to behave like subservient sex objects. So you have a lot of smart, frustrated young women out there, who feel good when they can read about other smart, frustrated young women.
Do your kids think you’re weird because you’re always writing about sex?
Yes. My kids are always asking me why I write about sex. It’s embarrassing. I think they might have the wrong impression of me – that because I’m always writing about it, I’m always having it. I just tell them sex sells. They like the idea that I’m making money from my writing. At least, because of that, I’ve earned their respect! I just think sex with all its complications is endlessly fascinating. As long as people have sex, I’ll have material to write about.
What are the keys to success as a writing mom?
- Be ruthless about not cleaning the house. (Basically, I’ve told my husband the house will get cleaned after the kids go off to college. Maybe.)
- Don’t waste your time preparing healthy meals for your children. They won’t eat them anyway. Basically, just let everyone fend for themselves, the husband too. Order in, eat frozen foods, junk food. Cereal is the most important staple in our house. It can be eaten at any time of day and it’s easy to prepare.
- If you can hire a babysitter, do it. If you can’t afford it, learn to write while the TV is on. And definitely get Playstation once they’re old enough.
All material copyright 2004-2006 by Stephanie Lehmann. All rights reserved. Site design: Mark E. Lang, TBEdesign.com.